Lord of Legends -- RTS Lite

Continuing my series on games that you'll love, but you wont want to play at a club, I've got to thank Bobby Canciello for introducing me to my newest addiction: League of Legends.  LoL is a free-to-play, pay-for-bonuses RTS-lite game based on the Warcraft series.  You play as a summoner -- ie -- a player.  It's relatively simple, and because of that simplicity, it's really fun to zone out playing for a while.

Dun dun duuuuuuunnnn......

Most RTS games (real time strategy, for any n00bs reading this) for me are too much.  If you mention Starcraft, I know about zerging but by the third level of the campaign, I'm just so flustered trying to micro-manage every aspect of the game that I lose horribly and feel like an idiot.  But in LoL, you only control one unit directly, so there's no getting overwhelmed.  The goal is to destroy your enemies' nexus, the central power hub for their forces, which spawns minions during the game.  The waves of minions are the majority of your force, and you generally use your champion to go in for the kill.

The game is deceptively simple, though.  As you trek across the map, you've got about 6 commands to worry about, and that's it.  You'll attack enemy minions, enemy champions, and turrets -- standard defense towers -- en route to the big kills.  Taking out one of three enemy inhibitors allows your nexus to spawn stronger minions, and taking out the nexus wins the game.  If your champion is injured, you can recall him to your base, heal up, buy a new item, and go back into battle.  If he's killed, you wait until he respawns at your base, which, of course, gets to be a longer and longer wait as the game goes on.

A group of minions led by Ashe assault a turret.

Defeating enemies earns your champion experience, which in turn makes him stronger.  That part is pretty standard.  But what amazes me is the variety of play styles in champions.  At any give time, there are a handful of free "loaner" champions (though you can permanently unlock champions for play by buying them with money or points you've accrued through game play), and each one is unique.  For instance, I can't play as Nunu the yeti-riding gnome to save my life.  He's big, dumb, and hits like a ton of bricks, but I just can't get him to do anything quick enough to stop him from just getting destroyed.  If I get my hands on Teemo, the scout, however, you're f*cked.  I'll zip around the map firing poison darts as needed, slaughtering every minion on your team, and picking off your champions with my dots (damage over time) before you realize what's going on.

And really, what makes the game particularly worthwhile is that it's 100% completely free if all you want to do is download and play.  And really, I can't argue with a price tag like that.  Even if you don't like fantasy, don't like real time games, and don't like Warcraft, you can still try it out, because there's no reason not to play the next time you've got nothing to do.

Oh, and add me.  My gamertag is Sheito.  So you can find out whether or not I'm all talk.  ;)

This is the face of your demise.  His name is Teemo.

PARTY NEWS

Check out Hardcore this Wednesday Night!  Video games, booze, and drag queens!

Hardcore!

and Going Viral with Misty Meaner

Vlada Lounge (51st St between 8th and 9th Aves)

10:00 pm

Since Misty has a viral theme, I thought we would, too.  So we're doing Left4Dead.  But I always have Smash Bros on hand, because Smash Bros is like condoms.  You never know when you're going to play, so you should always be prepared!  And continuing the viral theme, I'm going to have Pokemon with chlamydia on hand.  ... Super chlamydia.  Your Pokemon will recover, but in the meantime, it'll gain double EVs.  I'll be trading them over to anyone who wants one, and I'll even explain what Pokerus actually is. ... Though I prefer this interpretation.

Suikoden Tierkreis -- RPG Army-Style Goodness

If you haven't seen me on Facebook or responding to my text messages in the last few days, it's because my friend Pat bought me a copy of Suikoden Tierkreis for my birthday.  The last time I played a Suikoden game, I was thoroughly underwhelmed, but I smiled and nodded like I didn't expect it to suck.  "Oh, a sweater?  That's just what I wanted!"  That sort of thing.  But this game has ABSORBED MY LIFE.

Suikoden Tactics may have sucked, but I swear Tierkreis is amazing.

I'm a fan of classic RPGs.  There's something very stimulating to me about a game about math mechanically, but mired in a creative story.  And on the classic elements, Tierkreis does not disappoint.  It even comes with some cliched story points.  Who would believe that your main character would be an orphaned outcast with an unknown past?  That's never been done to death before!

But the story is actually rather compelling, because it starts with your standard cliches, but it moves well past it.  You start on the standard "Eradicate minor pests" mission, but your adventure is abruptly interrupted when an entire forest pops up out of nowhere.  With it comes an ancient relic, a book that gives some people who touch it super powers (read as, "Moves that cost SP.").  These new moves come with a flashbacks and memories of some epic battle that happened in he past.  At first, you just go around looking for more of the books and collecting more powers.  But when you realize the books are linked to the multiverse, things get a little more interesting, mainly because there's not supposed to be a multiverse.  You deal with political struggles, monsters from other worlds, and try to piece together your main character's past.  And the entire time, a group known as the Order of the One True Way plagues you, claiming that the future is predetermined and the only way to avoid pain and suffering is to consign yourself to a world where everyone can see the future.  Apparently, if you know it's coming, you won't get upset when tragedy strikes.  Personally, I think they're sipping too much from the crazy juice, but I'm pretty sure they're controlled by some crazy entity who wants to merge all the worlds in the multiverse into one perfectly structured moment of space-time.  Think of it as purgatory or Neon Genesis Evangelion.  But I haven't finished the game yet, so it's just a theory.

Actual character design. Mine throws knives.

But the interesting part is how well it all flows.  This game has more plot than game play at times.  But it flows so seamlessly that you really won't notice the intrusion.  And there's plenty to do.  You'll ultimately collect up to 108 characters to use in your battle.  Giants, cat-people, squeaky dolphin things, alternate reality clones -- they're all there.  And customizing them is easy.  Each character has a predetermined, but unique set of weapons they can use based on their personal story.  And they get a unique set of moves.  They pretty much stay in archetypical battle roles, but there's enough leeway that you can feel like you've customized every character.  You'll get sexy guy mages, less sexy girl mages, warriors, sword-masters, thugs, thieves, martial artists, healers, rangers, multiverse sages, and even a chef.  Also, for some reason, no male mage is allowed to wear a shirt.  It's gotta be a law or something, but I'm not complaining....  Arcane spell failure maybe?

As the game goes on, you'll outfit your entire army, go on tons of sidequests, and train multiple characters, because the fact is that you'll use most of them.  Even though I haven't touched Logan for a good 15 hours of play, he still gets caught up in the adventure once in a while.  The good thing, though, is that experience is based on level, so your under-leveled characters have to survive only one battle to catch up about half-way.  A few more battles, and suddenly the level 9 guy is up to 27 when your main party is 30.  It really takes a lot of grinding out of it, which works for me.  I prefer to keep the grinding on the dance floor.  Ultimately, it's a great game, and I'm probably going to go back to playing it now.

I have a thing for mages.  And I'm glad Tierkeis agrees with me that their clothing is optional.

PARTY NEWS

My birthday party at Splash was a blast!  And I've got to thank everyone who came out, but moreso for the people who brought me gifts!  I got a copy of Pokemon Battle Revolution, a gift card to Game Stop, and the cutest bottle of Bailey's I've ever seen!  :3  I drank it out of teeny-tiny glasses.

I'm still scheduling the next Gayme Night at Splash, but I'm very happy to announce that I'm revamping and re-releasing my monthly party at Vlada:

Shane Cherry presents Hardcore!
Wed Aug 3 at Vlada Lounge (51st St btwn 8th and 9th Aves)

This time we're teaming up with Misty Meaner and her Viral party, so I'm thinking... ZOMBIES.  This is the party for hardcore gaymers who think they can blow zombies away with extreme efficiency.  If you've got a particular game you want to play, though, comment here and let me know!

I think my favorite birthday present so far this year has been the full page promo Next Magazine did on me.  I always think I look awkward in pictures, but people keep telling me it's cute!  :)  So you can check out the online version right here.

Fluidity -- Try as I Might, I Can't Find a Good Gay Joke for This

I thought tonight I'd review an understated game, but it's one I really enjoy.  This one's for the other Nintendo fans out there.  It's Fluidity, a full Wii Ware game with a price tag of only $12.

Innovative controls for a new concept: hydration.

You play as a magical water with the ultimate goal of cleaning evil ink off a self-narrating book.  I'm pretty sure who ever came up with the concept for this game was high as a kite.  In fact, I think the entire game is made for stoners.  But rest assured, I've done thorough testing, and it's very enjoyable, even when sober.

Really, what makes Fluidity fun is the innovative controls.  They make the very odd concept for the game really engaging.  Tilting the remote tilts the book, causing your water to move around.  Shake the remote up and down, and you shake the book, making your water jump.  Collecting water bubbles gives you more water to work with, and conversely, separating drops of your water from each other will cause them to evaporate.  You'll use the water to rescue lost rubber duckies, put out fires, move gears into machines, and fight fiery sludge monsters.  Hmmm... there's something very green about that concept.  Ha ha, green.

Fire monster bad.  Water smash.

Essentially, you're working with a puzzle-based platformer.  But you'll barely notice, because it's just soooooooooo relaxing.  The game's controls are so smoothly integrated into the game that everything simply flows like .... well, like water.  The bright colors, smooth graphics, and dulcet music will relax you.  But at the same time, the puzzles are engaging enough that you won't be bored.  Time just flies by while you come up with the right pattern of jumps and waves to accomplish your goals.  It's a soothing experience -- calm, serene, but still accompanied by a feeling of accomplishment.

Ultimately, the game won't be for everyone.  It's simple, and if you're looking for a plot rivaling Final Fantasy, you won't find it.  But for only twelve bucks, it's a very engaging game that bridges the gap between puzzler and platformer.  ... .... ... And it's great when you're high.  XD

PARTY NEWS

Boiparty.com presents Twink Tuesdays GAYME Night: A Very Nerdy Birthday!

July 12th at Splash, I'm celebrating my... ugh... 26th birthday. <-_-::>
But I'll take some of the sting off it with Wii Sports, Super Mario Wii, and Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

So if you've fallen in love with this blog instantly and just have to tell me how much you love it!... or more likely, you want a night of drinking Stoli and thunder-bolting sucka's who keep trying to jump over Pikachu, come on by and I'll kick your ass a little.

It's actually going to be a huge party, so despite my not being terribly excited about being older, it's going to be amazing.  I've got a ton of guys coming out to dance and game, so if you just like hot shirtless guys on the dance floor (not to mention the Boiparty.com gogo team of pre-approved hotties), you've got plenty going on.  Besides, nerds are cute.  They have very big things in their pants... checkbooks.

I will warn you though.  I'm only ever a loud person if I'm having sex or playing video games, so if you find yourself in either situation with me, you can expect a lot of trash talk!

Fire Emblem: D'aaaaaaaawww... I Mean... Awesome

For my first post, I want to share my thoughts on Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance and Radiant Dawn.  The Fire Emblem series usually does stand-alone games, and I still nostalgically remember my excitement when Radiant Dawn, a direct sequel to the GCN's best strategy game, was released.  Even more so when the absolutely adorable thief, Sothe, grew up into one sexy badass.

I love that half-shirt.  <3  And I'm a sucker for green hair.

But let's start at the beginning.  If you've ever picked up a controller of any kind, you've probably played Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and that's where you know Ike.  I'll save it for a different rant, but Ike is completely undeserving of being an SSB character.  He's essentially and over-enthusiastic Boy Scout with a sword and a relatively cliched character development.  Moreover, he's a speed fighter.  All those big, heavy attacks from SSB?  Yeah, that's not Ike.  There are a ton of more interesting characters they could've used, but Ike's appearance in SSB did get more attention for the Fire Emblem series (although Marth and Roy did first, and were both better characters).
And that brings us to Path of Radiance.  The game stays true to Fire Emblem style.  It's a turn-based strategy game where each unit is a fully-developed character with a complete plot line.  And all characters are not created equally.  Notice how you're not using Astrid?  You never will.  But don't worry; she's a girl, and not even hot, so it's okay.  (Seriously, almost every female in this series will completely suck, because apparently women belong in the kitchen.)  I will warn you, though, be careful with your characters; if they're defeated even once (Crits SUCK!), you lose them forever, meaning you lose out on their plot line.  And the reason that's bad is simple...

The most emo strategist you'll ever see.

This game is completely homoerotic!  Ike himself is only vaguely charismatic, but when you add in his not-so-subtle bromance with emo-tastic strategist and mage, Soren (and I love my emo boys), you get a lot more character depth and a full-fledged case of the d'aaaaaaaaaawwwwws.  And they're not the only male/male couple.  (Google Sothe x Tormod for some quick online sexiness.)

It's the differences between Soren and Ike that really highlight the rest of the game's plot.  Ike starts as the son of a simple mercenary, but through good intentions and deus ex machina, he gets pulled into the war of the Mad King Ashnard of Daein, who is secretly trying to awaken a dark god and plunge the world into chaos.  The slightly cliched backstory for Ike isn't particularly interesting, but as he gets pulled into the politics of war between rival races of humans and beastmen, his ideological differences between him and Soren make a story about racial differences and politics really pop.  By the end of the first game, if you're even half as sensitive as I am (and I'll admit I'm a total wimp when it comes to things like this), you'll be crying.

One minor plot in Path of Radiance is Sothe's search for someone he cares about.  In Radiant Dawn, we find out that he was searching for his friend, Micaiah, a silver-haired healer in a world where... well, people can't just heal without magic.  She raises eyebrows for that talent, which makes things difficult for Sothe, her protector, as he leads her forces in protecting Daein a few years after you crushed them as Ike.  This is instantly a strong point of the plot.  You were trained to hate these guys, and all of a sudden, they're sympathetic characters because the cutest member of your team has grown into a stud, and he's got someone to fight for.  What remains even more interesting is that as the world gets plunged back into war, you play as every army in the game.  Even the non-combatants from the previous game become playable.  With a higher level cap and new weapons, you experience the war from all points of view.  No spoilers, but even a certain powerful enemy you thought you killed is back, and this time, he's on your side.  (But don't waste any exp on him; he's max level.)  Every character has a motivation, and they're almost all worth protecting.  Except Meg.  That worthless bitch deserves anything she gets.  The game culminates on one of the most epic moments of video game history.  I won't give away any spoilers, but you'll be packed with adrenaline.

Limiting available adjacent squares protects the unit.

As for the gameplay itself, if you're a strategy fan, you won't be disappointed.  Terrain and spacing plays a huge role.  You're forced to fight smart, because enemies will target your weaker units and take them down, eliminating them from the remainder of the game.  This can be extremely frustrating, but if you're patient and smart about it, you'll make it through.  Add in healing tactics, a weapon effectiveness triangle, and some terrain benefits, and you've got a lot going on, but the game summarizes it for you before you commit to an attack.

All in all, the Fire Emblem series raises the bar in strategy games, and Path of Radiance (GCN) and Radiant Dawn (Wii) will provide hours entertainment.  Even more after a few failed missions or resets from character loss, but it shouldn't ever get too frustrating, unless you have the balls to play it on Hard.  Be sure to play through Radiant Dawn more than once.  The plot changes slightly on the second play through.

For some solid RPG style strategy, an unduplicated combat system, and some of the cutest anime boys you'll ever see, check out Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance and Radiant Dawn.

D'aaaaaaawwwwwwwww!

PARTY NEWS:

And for those of you in or near NYC, check out Splash on Tuesday, July 12th!  It's the next edition of my gaymer party, Twink Tuesdays: Gayme Night, but this one is special because we're celebrating my birthday!  (Don't ask how old I am.  <-_-">)

Twink Tuesdays: Gayme Night: A Very Nerdy Birthday
18 to play, 21 to drink
Splash Bar (50 W. 17th St, between 5th and 6th Ave)
10:00 - 4:00
Featuring Wii Sports, Super Mario Wii, and Super Smash Bros. Brawl!  (game line-up subject to change)

Bring me presents, bitches!